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Bad news for C. Petegomery Angelos, worser news for Ed Wade and his team down in Houston. Congress, including Nationals fan Rep. Tom Davis, has decided that maybe Miggy wasn't telling the truth after all when he testified that the extra arms he grew in Baltimore were the result of vitamin B-12 injections and cod liver oil.

And not, you know, the steroids he and Raffy were doing.

Actually, maybe not such bad news for C. Petegomery Angelos. His Orioles have been one of the worst organizational offenders on doping but Baltimore has caught very little flak for it. And in Tejada, the songbirds got the benefits of his steroid-induced third and fourth arms for the maximum length of time before trading him for a brand-new starting rotation and an outfielder from Houston, where the Astros will now pay the price of any possible bans or criminal sentence against Miggy. So in the end, things have worked out for Angelos almost as well as the time he turned the recycling plant into a fish-slurry factory. How does the man escape accountability every time? Nobody's contract with the devil is that good, at least not without regular human sacrifice.

This is why BallWonk will miss RFK Canyon National Monument when the Forest Service closes it down in October. In a poll of 250+ big-league players, the Bobby was rated the third-toughest park to hit in in the big leagues. Tougher than the Coliseum in Oakland or Safeco in Seattle.

With all those young pitchers we're relying on to build the foundation of future championships, here's hoping the new ballpark plays a lot more like RFK Canyon than like the HO-scale Citizens Bank Park in Philly or the hobbit-sized Great American Ballpark in Cincy -- even with the 10-foot-closer wall in right center.

So first there was taking BallWonk's German houseguest to his first major-league ballgame on Tuesday. Bit of a bust at first actually; never have four innings of scoreless baseball seemed to drag on so. But then when the scoring began, time started to fly, and for the rest of the game German houseguest was on the edge of his seat. Literally. Heck of a way to start the baseball week.

That led to a commanding sweep of the Commies, of course, so here is the obligatory broom:

Then, on Friday night, the Nationals finally broke out the classic 1935-style Grays uniforms. Yeah, yeah, BallWonk knows the Nats claim those were 1943 Grays unis. But they also claimed the 1926 Senators road caps they wore Thursday were 1927 home caps, which they weren't. And the numbers on the back of the so-called '43 Grays jerseys? Exactly the same as the numbers the Chicago Bitch Sox wore on their 1976 disco-collar shirts. So, no, BW does not believe those in any way resembled anything any member of the '43 Grays wore, on the field or off.

But none of that matters. When the Nationals took the field, BW almost cried, the Nationals looked so good.

Best. Uniforms. Ever. BW and Ms. BW watched the game from Section 626 and put the TiVo to good use watching play after play in slo-mo just to admire those Grays uniforms. Memo to President Stan: Get someone to slap "Nats" or "Nationals" on those babies and make this the regular uniform. You say you want the Nationals to become an instantly recognizable worldwide brand? Then you need a uniform this distinctive. A Grays-esque jersey, whether you keep it navy or switch to red, with all that thick piping, would be right up there with the Yankees in terms of instant recognizability.

And in a performance worthy of their Grays shirts, the Nationals socked it to Your World Champion Cardinals with yet another Z-Man walkoff hit.

Things only picked up on Saturday, when BallWonk hiked up to Pearson's on Wisconsin for perhaps the single greatest juxtaposition of seemingly unrelated things since chocolate and peanut butter: Frank Howard and bourbon.

The idea is not actually all that new; quantities of bourbon have been a part of many a ballgame at BallWonk HQ. Nothing takes the bite off a losing game, or eases the tension of a Chief closing appearance, like a stiff General Sherman.

But making the connection overt and building an event around it? Brilliant. The Capital Punisher was in fine mettle, telling no end of stories and signing everything in sight with personalization. You've read all the stories a dozen times before, but Hondo spins a yarn masterfully. Here he his, describing how he got a standing ovation in Fenway after striking out six times in a row and then grounding into a double play to make eight outs on seven at-bats:

Or maybe that was the story of how he hit what he thought was a scorcher in Detroit but it turned into a triple-play and he knew it was time to hang up the cleats. Interesting how his stories were all about how great all the other players he knew were ...

Best Hondo line of the day? Describing the dim lights at a ballpark in Puerto Rico: "It was like hitting in Braille."

When making a General Sherman, BW prefers a bourbon with more rye, like Bulleit, but he'll take Mark as a backup. And John from Pearson's was on hand to dip Maker's Mark in red and blue Nationals-colored wax. So BallWonk picked up a couple of bottles, and Mr. Howard was kind enough to sign them both: One to BW, the other to be put away until Washington's next pennant. It's only been 74 years since the last one. Kept out of bright light, bourbon will last that long if need be.

At Pearson's, BW chatted with a ton of fans and bloggers in attendance. Screech's Best Friend and the African Queen were particularly lovely folks, though BW felt like a jerk when he guessed the Queen was from Ghana. She's from Gambia. BW can only plead that he talked at length with his Kenyan cabbie about Jomo Kenyatta, Robert Mugabe, and the rest of that generation of African independence leaders on the ride over, so BW had Kwame Nkrumah on his mind. Could happen to anyone, really.

Plus, on Saturday, Alex Rodriguez hit his 500th home run before a certain other notable player reached a milestone of his own.

Of course, said notable player did reach that milestone of his own:

So we can stop paying attention to him now, please, since from here on out every home run he hits is a record, so none but his last will mean anything.

All the while, the Nationals just kept punching Your World Champion Cardinals in the gut again and again until Tony LaRussa started to throw up a little and asked to be allowed to leave the ballpark. Which the umpires kindly allowed him to do, and the Nationals earned the second broom of the week:

Which also made it a clean sweep of the homestand and the third series win in a row, gave the Nationals their first winning record at home this year, kept us just a half game back of Florida, and put .500 within plausible reach.

The brooms, Hondo, the bourbon, the milestones, the Grays -- all in all, this might have been the best baseball week ever. Even if it comes with an asterisk.

Note to Readers: No, BallWonk is not "back." But BallWonk is beginning a rehab assignment and hopes to be ready in time for spring training. In the meantime, he will try to keep up an increasingly rigorous schedule of simulated blogging.

The 2007 Nationals Progdown Blognostication Credibility Challenge, that is. In which all Nationals bloggers and blog readers brave enough to put their credibility on the line post in their own blogs or the comments section of this entry, before the first pitch at RFK Monday, answers to the following blognostication categories:

1. Nationals season record.
2. Nationals NL East division place and games back (if any).
3. Date on which Nick Johnson first appears in a Nationals game.
4. Date on which Nick Johnson suffers season-ending injury.
5. Nationals team leader in pitching starts, with number of starts.
6. Total number of starting pitchers used.
7. Number of ejections for Manny Acta.
8. Guzman's batting average, on-base percentage, and slugging average.
9. Nationals home runs at RFK.
10. Paid attendance for the July 21 game against Colorado at RFK (our only Fox national broadcast of 2007).

In order that, at the end of the season, the entire Nationals caucus can see whose guesswork punditry reigns supreme!

BallWonk's entry is as follows:

1. 78-83 (1 un-replayed rainout)
2. Fourth, 14.5
3. May 11
4. September 2, dislocated shoulder, in a fielding collision at first that ends Barry Bonds's career
5. Jerome Williams, 29
6. Only 9
7. One
8. .255, .277, .373
9. Sixty-four
10. 23,626

Update: The Nats Repor(t) is first in with "predictions." But the Repor(t) claims to be looking at a Baseball Almanac from the year 2050, so that's hardly fair. It is gratifying to know that this book from the future tells us the Nationals will not finish in last place, Matt Chico will go all season, and Mannyger is going to keep the team's energy up with three ejections. Also, that they still print books in the year 2050.

... For favorite Nationals blog. And not some meaningless resolution in the fuddy-duddy House of Representatives, but in Sports Illustrated. BallWonk is honored to have been chosen for the Final Four of Nationals Blogs, though the fact that SI doesn't, um, actually know this blog's name is kind of humbling. And not in the way that politicians say winning elections is "humbling."

Vote here!

Voted yet? Good. Now, pretend like you're from Chicago and go vote again. Not to play favorites or anything, but as of right now Capitol Punishment is getting trounced. And that's just not right. BallWonk loves all his brother and sister Nationals blogs equally, of course, but, you know, if we were all scheduled to fly from Clear Lake to Fargo, BW would totally make sure Mr. Needham took the bus with Waylon instead.

Monday Morning Update: Capitol Punishment is now safely in first place on the SI poll, where it belongs. Good work, Nationals caucus!

The Nationals announced plans to incubate their game balls with bald eagles to control their temperature and cut down on the out-of-control home run hitting at RFK Canyon National Monument.

Late last week, Emperor Selig and his dark minions commanded all 30 big-league teams to move toward storing their balls in climate-controlled rooms, like Colorado does. Rawlings, the manufacturer, recommends that balls be stored at 70 degrees and 50 percent humidity.

Which leads BallWonk to wonder, why does Rawlings design its baseballs for San Diego, and not, say, the entire rest of the country where it's not 70 degrees and mild every day?

Also, teams are not allowed to use balls manufactured before 2007 in games this season. Old balls can be used for batting practice. Not that the balls used to be juiced or anything. It's just that the 2007 balls are even more not juiced than the never-juiced balls before, back when it served Emperor Selig's interests for Barry Bonds to hit 143 homers per year. Now that Emperor Selig would rather the Barroid hits fewer than 22 homers per year, the entire league will be using brand spanking new super-unjuiced balls that have been climate controlled to conditions in San Diego, where the Padres have the third-lowest slugging percentage in the league.

The whole thing left the Nationals having to scramble to find a way to regulate their ball-storage conditions. Noting that the local bald eagle population seems to have reached its carrying capacity, with the eagles increasingly tussling for territory along the densely eagled Potomac river, the the Nationals, team mascot Screech, and the U.S. Interior Department came up with the idea of removing eggs from eagle's nests and substituting game balls, which the eagles will incubate until game time.

So BallWonk was busy doing stuff you don't care about all day, and it wasn't until he got to the restaurant to pick up the take-out order that was waiting under the heat lamp that he had a chance to glance at USA Today on the bar. There to find, in the front-page sidebar that makes USA Today USA Today, news that Emperor Selig and his dark minions had rejected the Barroid's insult to the entire human race $15.8 million one-year contract with Los Gigantes. On account of too many personal appearances.

Yeah, like Emperor Selig and his dark minions were worried about it on Barroid's behalf. You just know the conversation went something like this.

Selig: I'm sorry, Peter, but I'm going to have to reject this contract with Mr. Bonds.

Peter Magowan: But why?

Selig: Too many personal appearances.

Peter Magowan: But you know Barry -- that vague language in the basic agreement about cooperating with team events means nothing to him. If we don't put it in his contract, no way will he come visit the sick kids at the hospital for the Make-a-Wish Foundation events.

Selig: It's legal for Mr. Bonds to enter a hospital? Interesting. I did not know that. But that's not what I mean. What about the All-Star Game?

Peter Magowan: What about it? We're hosting it this year in San Francisco. We've got this cute logo with a ball splashing into the cove and everything --

Selig: Yeah, yeah. And will Mr. Bonds be appearing at the All-Star Game and the other events we'll be putting on that week in San Francisco?

Peter Magowan: Well, of course.

Selig: Personally appearing? In person?

Peter Magowan: Yes.

Selig: See, right there, that is one personal appearance too many. You pay the man $16 million and you can't arrange for him to be out of the country or something during the All-Star Game? Don't come to me with that crap and expect me to approve it.

Peter Magowan: ...

Selig: And games. Says here in the contract that Mr. Bonds is obliged to personally appear in up to 162 regular-season games. Good thing signing Bonds puts the playoffs out of reach for your club, or else we'd be looking at possibly 181 games total. With personal appearances by Mr. Bonds. Holy Pabst, Peter, what were you thinking?

Peter Magowan: You want me to pay Barry $15.8 million but not let him appear in any games?

Selig: Not personally appear in any games, correct. As far as I'm concerned you pay him whatever you have to to stop him from personally appearing at any event, or in any building, in any way associated with Major League Baseball. Great Hoan's ghost, do you think we want that man playing baseball? Or even just personally appearing at a ballpark? No, this contract obliges Mr. Bonds to make far too many personal appearances. The best interests of baseball require me to reject it.

In addition, Comrade Bluegrass signed a three-year contract worth $16.5 million. Or, as scientists measure baseball contracts, 1 Guzman. Now, BallWonk doesn't begrudge locking in Comrade Bluegrass on a team with absolutely no spare parts anywhere. (Can he pitch?) But to hear Trader Jim say, "He's a complete player. He is like ... Ryan Zimmerman," well, this is Washington and all, so you expect some spin. But there's spin, and then there's talking like it's opposites day. Comrade Bluegrass is like Zimmerman to the extent that they are both bipedal hominids under the age of 30 who speak English. To the same extent that Greg Luzinski was like Mike Schmidt. And that's not a knock against Comrade Bluegrass -- on this team, "adequate" goes a long way. In right field, it's probably worth 1 Guzman, though it would be nice if maybe in 2007 Comrade Kearns didn't cripple any of our actual good players.

Oh, and then came news that Tony Armas Jr. will be joining the rotation in 2007. Pittsburgh's rotation. On the one hand, taking a 5.03 from RFK to Pittsburgh doesn't sound like a particularly fun move, for Armas or for the Pirates. But on the other hand, that 5.03 was our second-best full season starting ERA last year, and the guy signed a one-year contract for less than we're paying Six-Three. BallWonk gets it, don't sign mediocre free agents now, spend on the farm system and reap the harvest later, blah blah blah. BallWonk hasn't just drunk that Kool-Aid, he's been mixing up fresh pitchers of it for three years now. But if the choice is between spending sub-Guzmanic money with no long-term commitment on a starter we already know or asking for a volunteer from the stands to pitch every fifth night, BallWonk might have stuck with Armas.

Oh my god oh my god oh my god! BallWonk is the subject of a whole post in the WaPo's DC Sports Blog. It's a mainstream media site's blog entry about a BallWonk blog entry, which is now linked by a BallWonk blog entry! BallWonk feels like Mickey Kaus standing between two mirrors! Or does BallWonk show his age when he actually spells out "oh my god" instead of typing OMG or something with his thumbs?

Dude, the Z-Man would totally know the lingo the kids are using today. Sigh, but that kid makes BallWonk feel old.

But yes, that is an actual BallWonk comment on the WaPo blog entry.

OK, insanely pretentious self-referential blogging deactivated.

Sports Illustrated wants your reviews of the amenities at RFK Canyon National Monument. Here's the link to the survey.

BallWonk's review: Since they added Hard Times Frito pie, it's actually better than the Metrodome.