Recently in General Nats Category

... And throw up both your hands.

Actual email subject line of the latest Nationals.com email to show up in BallWonk's inbox:

Nationals Insider: Acta, Bowden stay the course

"Stay the course"?! BallWonk predicts that come the trading deadine, P.T. Bowden will be telling Nationals Insider that he's "doubling down" on The Plan. Also, he'll be starting every sentence with, "Look, ..."

In other acts of self-parody, Nationals Insider reported,

Thursday night, Jason Bergmann took advantage of his opportunity. The right-hander had his best outing of the season as the Nats defeated the Braves 2-0.

Guy's only had two outings. Which, technically, makes Thursday night "his better outing of the season." Takes three of a thing for one to be a "best." Unless Nationals Insider is looking at that copy of the 2050 Baseball Encyclopedia that's floating around, and they read that Bergmann will ne'er again pitch so well as he did last night. In which case, BW warns Nationals Insider that the BallWonk opposition research team is pretty sure the book is a forgery. You can tell by how the stats pages use a font that won't even be invented until the late 2070s. Touchable ink hyperlinking in a book purporting to be published in 2050? Puh-leez.

It's a long story, but suffice it to say that a hazily remembered sequence involving a Colt's .45 sixgun, an unexpected circumnambulation of East Potomac Park, an emperor penguin, and a bottle of ridiculously strong tequila left BallWonk with so monstrous a headache on Sunday that, seen from the other side of said headache, the Nationals 2007 season is looking good. Real good. When you start the season with that kind of mal a la tete, the thought of 120 losses* is nothing. Pain is like that: Get enough of it in your short-term memory, and you can bear pretty much anything the world throws at you from then on.

So here's hoping the Nationals also took advantage of spring to go on a bender or two. Maybe this will be a long, painful season. Or maybe it will just be another ordinary grinder with its ups and its downs. But as much as today may feel like the first step off a very tall cliff, it's really just the first step of Stan the Plan's Great Leap Forward. So BW hopes the whole team, from Mannyger down to the kids in Potomac, have some immediate, personal reference they can turn to and tell themselves, convincingly, things could be worse.

Like, "Oh, man, I can't believe we just lost to the Pirates. The. Freakin'. Pirates." [Player smashes water cooler with bat.]

"Dude, take it easy. We'll get them next time. Besides, this is nothing. You remember that time in March you woke up in the tide pool by the bar with that Jimmy Buffett tattoo and the jellyfish burns?"

"Yeah, man, that was awful!"

"Worse than losing to the Pirates, right?"

"You know it." [Laughs.]

[Rest of team laugh, keep spirits up for another day.]

It's a beautiful day at RFK Canyon National Monument. Sunny and warm with a homer-killing breeze to make Long John happy, and the Fish in town to play. That weightless feeling? It's not freefall. It's giddy anticipation. Opening Day is here, and pundits and columnists be damned: This is going to be fun.

Let's play 162.

* No, the Nationals are not going to lose 120 games. But if they do, it'll be OK. We'll still love them.

Denbow

The Commissar of People's Unity is proud to award the Order of Service to the Nationals Caucus, with gold trim, to Brian P. Denbow of Elkridge. Citizen hero Denbow bravely spoke up from within the very heart of the imperialist enemy and announced in the pages of this morning's WaPo his formal defection from the (Baltimore) Orioles to the Washington Nationals.

To quote citizen hero Denbow:

I live less than 10 minutes from Camden Yards, but I will not go. Because of Mr. Angelos, I would rather drive an hour to sit at RFK Stadium and watch the Nationals slog through what could be a historically terrible season. At least the Lerners have a plan.

The words of a true people's hero! Let citizen hero Denbow's faith in The Plan be an example to all members of the Nationals caucus!

In addition, the Commissariat also honors citizen Markus Kumau of Nairobi, Kenya, as the most distant known member of the Nationals caucus, and nominates his song, "Randa Randa," as the People's Anthem of the Nationals Movement. Download "Randa Randa" here. The Academy of People's Arts declares that the song sounds like early Johnny Clegg. And the "ho yeah, ho yeah!" chorus seems to be the perfect beat for the bouncing lower-deck stands at RFK Canyon National Monument.

Collect all seventeen Chief Justice bobbleheads!

Nationals President Stan W. Kasten is a fast learner. Less than a year in Washington, and he already knows how to dump bad news on a Friday afternoon so it will be lost in the weekend media dead zone. What bad news? The 2007 Nationals Promotional Schedule (Home).

First off, it's pretty thin gruel as far as fan loot goes. The highlight of the year is the series of four bobbleheads ... of the Racing Presidents. Now, BallWonk loves America's presidents as much as the next guy. More, probably. Especially George Washington. Hail to the buff and blue! But it's not like we lack for actual bobblehead-worthy players. The Z-Man, Power Austin, and Officer Schneider are here to stay, right? Right? Oh, holy crap, BallWonk hadn't thought of that. Maybe there are no player bobbleheads because Stan the Plan is willing to trade anyone, at any time, even ...

Nah. Can't be. Still, has anyone really ever said to themselves, "Man, I wish I had some Thomas Jefferson merchandise"? Because if anyone ever has said that to himself, Monticello is right there in Virginia with a gift shop and everything.

Plus, most of the best promotions are on weekends or against teams like the Cubs or the Cardinals that everyone wants to see anyway (or on weekend games against in-demand teams). Wha?

The thing is, BallWonk actually prefers to see a lot of the teams nobody else cares about. Like the Padres and the Diamondbacks, or the entire rest of the NL Central other than the Cubbies and Redbirds. And when BallWonk goes to see the Nationals take on the Commies at RFK Canyon National Monument on a Wednesday night in August, he would very much like the front office's help in putting a few other fans' butts in the seats.

We need some t-shirts on that schedule, and bats for the kids. This being DC, there ought to be a tie night or some lapel pins or something. And if we're going to have that many plastic figurines, what about a little desktop model of RFK Canyon National Monument to commemorate the old park's last season? Or a little white upper-deack seat. Anything at all to honor the old park, which after all marks the passing of an era: It was the first, and still the least Brezhnevesque, of the quickly disappearing generation of concrete-doughnut ballparks.

The Chief just struck out a Detroit pinch-hitter on three pitches. And if baseball had like six bases instead of three, it would have been a save for the Chief, too.

But after the fifth straight win in a row, the sixth in seven games, and decent outings by pretty much all of our remaining starter candidates whose names don't rhyme with "shedding," the Nationals have now outscored their Spring Training opponents 131-107.

Our old friend Pythagoras says that if the Nationals can keep up that ratio of runs scored to runs allowed in the regular season, they would expect to finish 96-66. In this division, this year? Ninety-six wins is the pennant, baby.

Now, BallWonk does not actually expect the Nationals to win the division or win 96 games. But when you squish up the grapefruit and read the patterns left in the pulp, you don't have to be completely insane to think you see evidence that maybe we won't lose 120 games after all.

The best news of the week was that Jerome "Da Kine" Williams had another decent outing yesterday. He's the one member of Stan W. Kasten's "surge" of 21,500 starters BW most wanted to see make the rotation. In addition to Da Kine's personal story and the terrific talent he displayed when he first reached the bigs, there's the fact that Williams in the rotation equals mandatory aloha shirts and tiki drinks every fifth day this summer. You may have to trust BallWonk on this, but Cristian Guzman is a lot easier on the nerves when you've got a bright printed shirt on your back and a fruity rum drink in your hand.

It's just too bad that Da Kine is wearing number 26 instead of 50. Or is it childish to want the Nationals to have their very own Hawaiian five-oh?

The number in parentheses is not "games back". It's ranking out of all 30 big-league teams. Sports Illustrated believes the Nationals will be the worst team in baseball. Worse than the Pirates. Worse than the Commies. Worse than Kansas City. In most of the civilized world's sports leagues, that would demote the Nationals to triple-A next year.

Instead, here in America, it will mean the number-one overall draft pick in 2008.

(Note that SI picks the Rockies to finish ahead of the Giants* in the West. We can only dream.)

Read the Nationals team preview, which implicitly raises, but delicately avoids openly naming, the 120 question. And which also proposes promoting Rauch into the rotation, which BallWonk started 2006 assuming would happen as a matter of course last year.

Is BallWonk a very, very bad person? Yes, he probably is. Why? Well, BW's mother is in town for the first time in fifteen months (and guess which son didn't get out to Iowa to visit the farm even once last year). The entire roster of living relatives on BW's mom's side are also all visiting DC this week, together, in a borrowed van, to take BW's adorable ten-year-old cousin to see the baby panda before Butterstick is shipped off to a Chinese reeducation camp this spring. (Didn't that movie just win some Oscars?) Ms. BallWonk only yesterday had a really painful minor surgery that limits her to a diet of antibiotics, hardcore painkillers, and BW's signature chocolate malts.

And in the midst of all this, the only thing on BallWonk's mind is how cool it is that tonight we get a night game. Against Atlanta. On MASN. And how to ditch said relatives in time for the game.

So yes, BallWonk is a very, very bad person.

But while waiting for the night to fall, a fan's fancy turns to Barry Svrluga's blog, on which he asks what we all think will be the storylines of 2007:

1. Manny Acta: The Development of a Manager. (He's scheduled to be on "Washington Post Live" tonight, following Zimm on Monday and Brian Schneider yesterday, making the Nationals 3 for 3 in at least one category.)

2. John Patterson: Ace of Staff? Or Ace Bandage Needed?

3. Stan the Man and His Plan: Will Kasten's much-discussed blueprint for building a winner show signs of succeeding this season?

4. The Ballpark: What will it be called? Will it be ready for '08? Will the cherry blossoms bloom? Will we like it?

5. Jim Bowden: Will he be able to make moves -- within the structure of the overall plan -- that set this team up for success in 2009 and beyond?

6. Cristian Guzman. Enough said.

7. Zimm 2.0. Can he approach the success of last season?

8. The rotation. Enough said.

9. The record. There is some buzz -- read Buster Olney on espn.com occasionally -- that this team could be (and here's a phrase I've written a few times, and may have to pull out again) "historically bad." That means, like, '62 Mets and '03 Tigers territory. Is that possible?

10. RFK's Swansong. Will anybody out there be misty-eyed on those last few days of September?

11. Aramark. Yes, an obvious plea to open up those old concession war stories.

12. Fill in the blank. What am I missing? You decide.

Open floor. BallWonk's notes:

1. Left to its own devices, this team is entirely capable of losing 100 or more games. How do you judge Mannyger's quality as a manager in a year the team probably couldn't win 75 games against the Texas League? Well, you look for whether Mannyger takes four seasons to learn how to do things like a double-switch, and whether he orders the sac bunt as often as Connie Mac, and whether he bothers to get the bullpen working when the starter is tiring but the game is still winnable. So really, it won't take much for Mannyger to prove he's an improvement over Frank. But beyond that? Wait for '08.

2. For the love of Walter, Barry, don't say stuff like that. At least not about Long John.

3. But isn't the Plan predicated on sacrificing the 2007 season? Sort of like in chess, where you offer your bishop for a pawn, and the other guy is all, "Oh, yes, I'll relieve you of that bishop in exchange for my pawn," but but really it just leads to another pawn exchange and then you put a fork down on his queen and now he has your bishop but you have his queen and you're totally winning. Which makes 2007 the bishop. If the Nationals lose 100 games this year, Stan the Plan will be able to say, "As you can see, the rest of the NL East has fallen into our trap. Now witness the firepower of this fully ARMED and OPERATIONAL championship team!"

4. This is sooooo a 2008 storyline.

5. P.T. Bowden has been saying that his mantra is "Pitching, pitching, pitching" for three years now. Over those three seasons, we've gone from a team entering Spring Training with five starters to a team entering Spring Training with one starter. Is Jim "Brownie" Bowden up to the job of general managing a professional baseball team? Obviously not. The real question is whether Stan the Plan is up to the job of micromanaging his GM to achieve reasonable results. Results that will have to include acquiring big-league-viable pitching talent through trades and free-agent signings. Which, if it happens, will lead all Nationals fans to say, in unison, "Well, that's a first."

6. All winter, BallWonk has encountered people, obviously none of them Twins fans, who say, "But Six-Three was good when he played for the Twins." Which has made BW, who is a Twins fan emeritus, want to bang his head against a rock. No, Six-Three wasn't good when he was a Twin. He was good in 2001 and a little bit of 2002. And not "great" or "fantastic," just "good." For a total of seven non-consecutive months. You know what? Herbert Hoover had seven quality months as president before the Great Depression started. Yet we're not adding Hoover to the Racing Presidents. (What is it about Six-Three that gets BallWonk thinking about painful four-year terms? Oh, right.)

7. "Approach," Barry? Approach? Seems the WaPo didn't get a copy of the script: Zimmerman is like those penny stocks in the spam emails: He can only go up. We've already demonstrated that Mike Schmidt wasn't half as good as the Z-Man at his age. The question is not whether Z-Man will "approach" his own 2006 performance, but whether he will "approach" the performance of a minor deity, or merely that of a Hall of Famer.

8. Can "the rotation" even be a storyline? Seriously, we're likely to use something like 25 different starters over the course of the season, thanks to most of them sucking and also to people like Barry totally jinxing Long John with the injury mojo up above. That's not a starting rotation. It's more like the starting quantum flux state. We'll be the first team to have a non-Euclidian pitching staff.

9. BallWonk believes in the pursuit of record achievement. Good or bad. If you're going to win, finish atop your division. If you're going to lose, lose big. 100 losses? Any chump can lose a century. But 120? Now that is something to be proud of. If we haven't won 10 games by the end of April, BW says, screw it. Go for 120. Monumental achievement is what baseball in DC should be all about, and besides, it will just make that NL East pennant all the sweeter when we get it in a couple of years. If you have to choose, better to be the '69 Mets or the '06 Tigers, to be a team that goes from historically bad to a pennant, than to finish in second place all the time. BW would rather lose 120 games then be the Phillies, you know?

10. Yes.

11. Go to the terrace, get yourself a bowl of Frito pie and a margarita, and skip the Aramark stalls entirely. Problem solved. Problem been solved since the middle of last season.

12. Here's what BallWonk is most anxious to see: Power Austin is good. Sometimes he shows flashes of very-goodness. Can Power Austin raise his game from being a good outfielder to being a very good outfielder?

So BallWonk gets a call from Ms. BallWonk at lunchtime to say that while she was walking to Potbelly for some grub, the Nationals were handing out 2007 schedules.

Which, Ms. BallWonk said, were even lamer-looking than last year, and have no promotional dates. To which BW has no response short of maximum escalation. Because, yes, BallWonk has had a secret weapon up his sleeve that he's held off deploying in hopes that the Nationals would come to their senses and just post the damned promotional schedule already. Seriously, BW understands the struggle it must be to transform the front office from its pre-Lerners state of being a half-assed Cincinnati to being a better-funded Atlanta. So BW was willing to hold off on deploying his doomsday weapon, which for maximum deterrence effect he kept totally secret from the Nationals.

But there comes a point where you've just got to expect results or you've got to dish out some heaping ladles of accountability stew. Like when it's October 1, and Congress still hasn't passed last year's budget. Or when it's two weeks to Opening Day, they're handing out printed schedules, and we still don't know when we get promotions at the ballpark.

So thanks to diligent reader Doug in the BallWonk Office of Advanced Research, BallWonk is now ready to deploy the much feared shame-weapon, the Nationals 2007 Promotional Schedule (Road). That's right, the free loot all the other teams are giving away when the Nationals come to town.

And actually, it's a pretty good haul of baseball booty. Puts the Nationals to shame.

Nationals 2007 Promotional Schedule (Road)
Tue., Apr. 10 Nationals Coca-Cola 2-for-1 Tuesdays Atlanta
Wed., Apr. 11 Nationals McDonald's Outfield Ticket Advantage Atlanta
Thu., Apr. 12 Nationals Hank Aaron Statue Night Atlanta
Sat., Apr. 14 Nationals Growth Chart First 12,000 Kids New York
Fri., Apr. 20 Nationals Scratch Off Friday (100 Random Grand Prizes) 1st 15,000 Fans Florida
Sat., Apr. 21 Nationals Marlins Rally Towel 1st 25,000 Fans Florida
Sun., Apr. 22 Nationals Dontrelle Willis Youth Jersey 1st 5,000 Kids Florida
Tue., Apr. 24 Nationals Southwest Airlines Schedule Magnet Philly
Thu., Apr. 26 Nationals Citizens Bank Businesspersons Special Philly
Fri., May 4 Nationals Cubs Gray T-Shirt 1st 10,000 fans Chicago
Sat., May 5 Nationals Michael Barrett autograph on Rawlings official baseball 500 random winners Chicago
Wed., May 23 Nationals Bronson Arroyo Bobblehead Night 1st 40,000 fans Cincy
Thu., May 24 Nationals Senior Citizen Specials 60 and older Ladies Night 1st 10,000 ladies Cincy
Sat., May 26 Nationals Six Flags Night All kids 48" and under St. Louis
Sun., May 27 Nationals Kids Run the Bases Day All kids 15 and under St. Louis
Sat., Jun. 9 Nationals Hormel Joe Mauer Batting Title Bobblehead 1st 10,000 Fans Minnesota
Sun., Jun. 10 Nationals Justin Morneau MVP Bat 1st 5,000 Fans 14 & under Minnesota
Tue., Jun. 12 Nationals T-Shirt Tuesday: Chris Ray First 10,000 fans 15 and over Baltimore
Wed., Jun. 13 Nationals Orioles Replica Cap DAP First 20,000 fans 15 and over Baltimore
Thu., Jun. 14 Nationals U.S. Army American Flag All fans Baltimore
Sat., Jun. 16 Nationals Family Sleepover Toronto
Sun., Jun. 17 Nationals Father's Day John Gibbons Father's Day Necktie First 10,000 fathers Toronto
Mon., Jun. 25 Nationals Home Depot A. Jones Signature Bat Night First 15,000 fans Atlanta
Tue., Jun. 26 Nationals Coca-Cola 2-for-1 Tuesdays Atlanta
Wed., Jun. 27 Nationals McDonald's Outfield Ticket Advantage Atlanta
Fri., Jun. 29 Nationals Fireworks Night Pittsburgh
Sat., Jun. 30 Nationals Bob Walk Bobblehead Pittsburgh
Sun., Jul. 1 Nationals Team Stamped Autographed Baseball Kids Ages 12 & Younger Pittsburgh
Fri., Jul. 13 Nationals Scratch Off Friday (100 Random Grand Prizes) 1st 15,000 Fans Florida
Sat., Jul. 14 Nationals Marlins Kazoo 1st 25,000 Fans Florida
Sun., Jul. 15 Nationals Marlins Floppy Hat 1st 10,000 Fans Florida
Wed., Jul. 25 Nationals American Red Cross Christmas in July Cole Hamels Bobble Figurine Philly
Thu., Jul. 26 Nationals Summer Camp Day Philly
Fri., Jul. 27 Nationals Merengue Night New York
Sat., Jul. 28 Nationals Nikon Travel Mug First 25,000 Fans New York
Sun., Jul. 29 Nationals Seat Cushion First 25,000 Adults Mr. Met Dash New York
Sat., Aug. 11 Nationals D-backs Trucker Caps First 35,000 fans Arizona
Sun., Aug. 12 Nationals Kids' D-backs Backpacks First 10,000 fans age 12 and under Arizona
Tue., Aug. 21 Nationals PowerAde Double Play Tuesday Houston
Wed., Aug. 22 Nationals TGF Hair Cuts Houston
Thu., Aug. 23 Nationals $1 Hot Dogs Houston
Sat., Aug. 25 Nationals Lunch Bag First 15,000 fans Colorado
Fri., Sep. 7 Nationals Friday Night Fireworks Atlanta
Sat., Sep. 8 Nationals 80's Mullet Head Night Future Stars Night Atlanta
Sun., Sep. 9 Nationals Girl Scouts Kids Run the Bases Alumni Sunday Atlanta
Mon., Sep. 10 Nationals Marlins Community Foundation Garage Sale Florida
Tue., Sep. 11 Nationals Homeschool Night Florida
Sun., Sep. 30 Nationals Southwest Airlines 2008 Schedule Magnet Philly

Embarrassing fact #1: The Marlins are giving stuff away all three games of a weekend homestand against the Nationals. A weekend homestand. That's like knowing you're the team Northwestern schedules for its homecoming game.

Embarrassing fact #2: The cheapest billionaire owner in baseball, Carl Pohlad, is giving away the best swag on the Nationals promotional schedule so far. Yes, Carl Pohlad is treating fans better than the Lerners. In most billionaire families, being outclassed by the Pohlads is grounds for seppuku.

The awful thing for BallWonk is that he is going to miss that loot-rich Twins series by a matter of hours. Minutes, possibly. He'll be stuck in Ohio until the morning of the third game in Minnesota. No Chairman Mauer bobbleheads or Dr. Morneau bats for the BW family.

AP is reporting that the new Nationals ballpark will have cherry trees beyond the outfield fence.

President Stan W. Kasten said of the blossoming arbor, "We couldn't find another ballpark that had trees in the ballpark."

BallWonk can think of another ballpark that had trees in the outfield: Griffith Stadium. Which makes the cherry trees even more perfect than they seem at first glance. In fact, the cherry tree thing is on BW's list of things he's wanted at the new ballpark but hasn't bothered telling anyone because the bigwigs never get that sort of thing right. So perhaps now is the time to tick down the list a bit:

• State and territory flags around the ballpark.
• Sections with state names, rather than numbers.
• Signature food items and local beer from around the country at specialty stands near the corresponding seating sections.
• Alternate caps featuring the Racing Presidents, in the style of the Lake County Captains seacaptain caps.
• Walter Johnson and Josh Gibson statues out front.
• To represent the legislative process, discount pork sausages.

Now, the cynics might ask, if the Nationals are in a position to talk about their 2008 topiary, where is our damn 2007 promotional calendar? BallWonk prefers to think of it as Stan the Plan keeping his focus on the long term, where it belongs.

BallWonk is still getting dizzy spells thinking about the pitching situation -- Mannyger still hopes to whittle the surge down to eight or so finalists this week, a task, based on evidence to date, that is not to be envied. And Six-Three is still batting .100, but to his credit his one hit was an RBI double and he has yet to ground into a double play.

But confirmation did come this weekend that the Nationals will begin their 2007 promotional calendar with an opening day all-fans cap day at RFK Canyon National Monument. That's a pic of the hat up above. It's a Tickets.com promotion, so you won't even have to have a giant "Bud" embroidered across the back of your head this time. BW's plans to play hooky that afternoon are totally back on.

Wilbon writes his columns on an old manual typewriter with the s, o, c, e, and r keys removed. Kornheiser shouts his columns over the phone to an intern who transcribes them.

Boswell, apparently, writes his columns on a waffle iron.

In fact, IHOP is adding a new item to the menu for Opening Day, the Bozwaffle. It's a plate-sized Belgian, half gently covered in the strawberry syrup of hope, the other half drowned in the blueberry syrup of despair.

To wit, here is Boz on the 2007 rotation, from Feb. 22:

The surprise of camp so far is the growing realization that the mocked Washington rotation will be better than it was last year. In fact, the case for a better rotation in '07 is so obvious after a real analysis that it's actually closer to a promise than a prediction.

And here is Boz on the 2007 rotation, from today:

That's the challenge the Nationals face as they realize, less than a week into the exhibition season, that their starting rotation will probably ensure them a summer of biblical drubbings. . . . Out of a dozen retreads or marginal prospects, surely they could patch together a rotation no worse than last season's mess. But there's a big fly in the ointment. What if all of these guys were out of a job because they couldn't do the job?

The headline? "Nats' Starting Pitching Could Be a Real Problem." As opposed to "Numbers Might Add Up to One Shot in the Arm" less than two weeks ago.

C'mon,, Boz, BallWonk has been looking to you for his semiweekly dose of Cheneyesque optimism. We're about to turn the corner! The rotation has already had great success! We're winning those ballgames, dammit! You can't turn tail, cut and run, and join the naysayers now. Please, Boz, come back on the reservation. We need someone, anyone, to tell us how all those errors at short are a sign of progress, how if the starters and the bullpen can just take a lead into the ninth, we'll have the games locked up, how really all is not what it appears to be and by putting the entire rest of the NL in the standings ahead of us we'll have them just where we want them.

We need you, Boz, to remind us that "in the cellar" is just another way of saying "building the foundation." You can't quit on us yet. We haven't even played, much less lost, 100 games. The Nationals need you, Boz, like the White House needs Fred Barnes. So BallWonk begs you, please, please, please stop the waffling and put the strawberry-syrup-colored glasses back on.

And then tell us again how the rotation is going to be super-awesome after all.

It has come to BallWonk's attention that he may have misheard Charlie and Dave on Friday. It may not be Nationals caps for all fans at the home opener against Florida April 2, but rather at Viera against the Fish March 18. BW will try to nail that down, but in the meantime don't bank on loot at the home opener. Senior Nationals administration sources assure BallWonk that a regular-season promotional schedule will be coming "any day now."

Reader Doug, who obviously has a background in House constituent services, writes to ask,

Hey BallWonk, have you heard anything about a promotional schedule for the RFK lame duck season? Nats reps when talked to don't seem to know anything. I can't believe our new skinflint owners are too cheap or disorganized to even put some promo nights together. Boy I miss the free spendin' days of MLB ownership.

Funny Doug should ask. BW was just on the phone with his ticket rep today asking the same question, with the same answer. However, Charlie and Dave did mention during the broadcast of today's game from Dodgertown that the Nationals will be giving red curly-W ballcaps to all fans at the home opener on April 2. That's a 1:05 start, so if you want the season's first taste of baseball pork, start working on your get-out-of-work excuses now.

You can keep your returning robins, your budding blooms, your glowering groundhogs, even your equinox. This is the sign BallWonk regards as the real start of spring:

My Yahoo! lists Washington on Today's Games.

And wouldn't you know it -- it's 61 degrees and sunny out, the last ice is melted off the back walk ... spring really did begin today. See? It's not just BallWonk. Nature itself has been waiting for this all winter.