Ya Gotta Have Heart

Florida at Washington. Nationals 7, Florida 6.

Maybe it would be better if Dick Cheney avoided watching the Nationals this season. In fact, maybe no one with a history of heart problems should do so. Because Nationals fans need to get used to two things this year: heartbreaking blowouts, and heart-attack-inducing nailbiters.

Three-fifths of the way through the rotation, we've seen what our starters can do. "Establish an early five-run deficit" being pretty much the extent of things. (Actually, BallWonk sees much reason to expect better things soon from Hill and Chico, and Long John is either much better than he looked on Monday, or he's playing hurt and will soon be back on the DL, but it's always safer to stick with observed results.)

So we should assume we're going to be down 4-0 or 6-1 early a lot of the time. So either we'll fall behind and stay there, or the Nationals will spend most of the time in most of the games climbing back into things. From about the fourth inning on, every pitch the Nationals face will feel to fans like it's a 3-2 count in the bottom of the ninth of a scoreless game seven in the World Series.

Pass the beer and Cracker Jacks, and brother can you spare a lidocaine?

As witness to the pulmonary dangers the 2007 Nationals pose to their fans, note that despite winning his first game as a big-league manager thanks to Dmitri Lawrencovich's ninth inning bases-loaded sac fly single, Manny Acta has not yet managed a team that has held a lead in a ballgame. The instant the Nationals scored the go-ahead run Wednesday, the game ended. And the way this team is likely to spend even its winning games climbing up out of an early hole, Mannyger might have several notches on his clipboard before he actually experiences what it's like to manage a team with more runs than its opponent.

So maybe, for the sake of maintaining the security of the line of executive succession, Dick Cheney should watch the Orioles this season.

If you want to follow the Nationals this season, better get a check-up, and make sure you have an adequate supply of nitroglycerine just in case.

You know what sends BW's heart racing even faster than sixteen Nationals hits, even faster than five innings of two-hit, shutout relief from the bullpen? Opening the morning paper to find the Nationals in fourth place, half a game ahead of the winless Phillies.