Great Baseball Weekend*

So first there was taking BallWonk's German houseguest to his first major-league ballgame on Tuesday. Bit of a bust at first actually; never have four innings of scoreless baseball seemed to drag on so. But then when the scoring began, time started to fly, and for the rest of the game German houseguest was on the edge of his seat. Literally. Heck of a way to start the baseball week.

That led to a commanding sweep of the Commies, of course, so here is the obligatory broom:

Then, on Friday night, the Nationals finally broke out the classic 1935-style Grays uniforms. Yeah, yeah, BallWonk knows the Nats claim those were 1943 Grays unis. But they also claimed the 1926 Senators road caps they wore Thursday were 1927 home caps, which they weren't. And the numbers on the back of the so-called '43 Grays jerseys? Exactly the same as the numbers the Chicago Bitch Sox wore on their 1976 disco-collar shirts. So, no, BW does not believe those in any way resembled anything any member of the '43 Grays wore, on the field or off.

But none of that matters. When the Nationals took the field, BW almost cried, the Nationals looked so good.

Best. Uniforms. Ever. BW and Ms. BW watched the game from Section 626 and put the TiVo to good use watching play after play in slo-mo just to admire those Grays uniforms. Memo to President Stan: Get someone to slap "Nats" or "Nationals" on those babies and make this the regular uniform. You say you want the Nationals to become an instantly recognizable worldwide brand? Then you need a uniform this distinctive. A Grays-esque jersey, whether you keep it navy or switch to red, with all that thick piping, would be right up there with the Yankees in terms of instant recognizability.

And in a performance worthy of their Grays shirts, the Nationals socked it to Your World Champion Cardinals with yet another Z-Man walkoff hit.

Things only picked up on Saturday, when BallWonk hiked up to Pearson's on Wisconsin for perhaps the single greatest juxtaposition of seemingly unrelated things since chocolate and peanut butter: Frank Howard and bourbon.

The idea is not actually all that new; quantities of bourbon have been a part of many a ballgame at BallWonk HQ. Nothing takes the bite off a losing game, or eases the tension of a Chief closing appearance, like a stiff General Sherman.

But making the connection overt and building an event around it? Brilliant. The Capital Punisher was in fine mettle, telling no end of stories and signing everything in sight with personalization. You've read all the stories a dozen times before, but Hondo spins a yarn masterfully. Here he his, describing how he got a standing ovation in Fenway after striking out six times in a row and then grounding into a double play to make eight outs on seven at-bats:

Or maybe that was the story of how he hit what he thought was a scorcher in Detroit but it turned into a triple-play and he knew it was time to hang up the cleats. Interesting how his stories were all about how great all the other players he knew were ...

Best Hondo line of the day? Describing the dim lights at a ballpark in Puerto Rico: "It was like hitting in Braille."

When making a General Sherman, BW prefers a bourbon with more rye, like Bulleit, but he'll take Mark as a backup. And John from Pearson's was on hand to dip Maker's Mark in red and blue Nationals-colored wax. So BallWonk picked up a couple of bottles, and Mr. Howard was kind enough to sign them both: One to BW, the other to be put away until Washington's next pennant. It's only been 74 years since the last one. Kept out of bright light, bourbon will last that long if need be.

At Pearson's, BW chatted with a ton of fans and bloggers in attendance. Screech's Best Friend and the African Queen were particularly lovely folks, though BW felt like a jerk when he guessed the Queen was from Ghana. She's from Gambia. BW can only plead that he talked at length with his Kenyan cabbie about Jomo Kenyatta, Robert Mugabe, and the rest of that generation of African independence leaders on the ride over, so BW had Kwame Nkrumah on his mind. Could happen to anyone, really.

Plus, on Saturday, Alex Rodriguez hit his 500th home run before a certain other notable player reached a milestone of his own.

Of course, said notable player did reach that milestone of his own:

So we can stop paying attention to him now, please, since from here on out every home run he hits is a record, so none but his last will mean anything.

All the while, the Nationals just kept punching Your World Champion Cardinals in the gut again and again until Tony LaRussa started to throw up a little and asked to be allowed to leave the ballpark. Which the umpires kindly allowed him to do, and the Nationals earned the second broom of the week:

Which also made it a clean sweep of the homestand and the third series win in a row, gave the Nationals their first winning record at home this year, kept us just a half game back of Florida, and put .500 within plausible reach.

The brooms, Hondo, the bourbon, the milestones, the Grays -- all in all, this might have been the best baseball week ever. Even if it comes with an asterisk.

Note to Readers: No, BallWonk is not "back." But BallWonk is beginning a rehab assignment and hopes to be ready in time for spring training. In the meantime, he will try to keep up an increasingly rigorous schedule of simulated blogging.