What News from Cristiandom?

Say, wasn't it just about this time last year that we were hearing about the new, improved, slimmed down, muscled up, Six-Three with bionic eyes and a work-ethic transplant?

Surely, somebody has seen Six-Three in the last eleven months. Did he go home to the Dominican and soften up like he usually does with time off? Or is he keeping up with the Jazzercise videos and eating raw eggs to keep in shape and reading the newspaper pinned to the wall on the other side of the room to keep his newly corrected eyesight sharp?

With the Nationals desperate to scrape up even the tiniest morsel of good news going into 2007 -- "We offered Sammy Sosa three fewer contracts this year than last!" and "We'd have to lose 102 games to do as badly as the Redskins!" -- BallWonk does not take it as a good sign that he has heard no stirrings of the "Guzman is a new man" meme being recycled this year.