Nickname Jim?
Reader Chris, a truly capitol fellow, punishes BallWonk for continuing to refer to Trader Jim as, um, Trader Jim. "Eunuch Jim seems to be a nicer fit," Chris says. Undersecretary for Guerrilla Action Against the Nationals GM Dunn concurs, offering his own adjective:
You can't call him Trader Jim anymore--not since he has been neutered by Stan the Plan. Maybe you should start wearing an O's hat just to piss him off.
With respect, Underscretary Dunn, BallWonk believes the word is "spayed."
But both readers have a good point. Since last summer, when our GM assured that no one in Cincy would ever again answer his phone calls and when he shopped Fonzie around for the low, low price of every good player in your minor league system plus the two most valuable under-26 players on your big-league roster, he hasn't done much trading. Nor even signing.
And what signing the Nationals have done -- the surge of 21,500 new pitchers with minor-league contracts, the marginal deals to avoid arbitration or lock down role players to establish some roster stability and/or make them more tradable commodities -- all feel more like the work of Chief Kasten than our GM. Like, those deals would have been done no matter who our GM was. It's almost like Chief Kasten is doing all the thinking, and the GM is just there to do the work.
With the new focus on scouting, stocking the minors, and non-draft international signings, our GM seems to have gotten out of the trading business and into import-export.
So, BallWonk agrees. Our GM needs a new nickname. But what? Can we assume that Chief Kasten will never unleash his GM on the trade or free-agent markets again? If he really is Chief Kasten's eunuch, doesn't that make him the Nationals Admiral Zheng?
Dear readers, BallWonk needs your help finding a new nickname for James Gordon Bowden III. Nominations in comments, please!
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What a funny picture!
Wow. Really? Castration jokes? That is a new low, I think.
The Kastraded One
I've always been partial to PT Bowden since it captures the self-promoting hucksterism that has been -- and that remains -- so central to his character and presence.
I always thought "Boozer" Bowden was a good fit, especially after the incident at South Beach last year.
Cincy fans call him Leatherpants and have for years, even before The Trade. Marty Brennaman, Reds Hall of Fame radio broadcaster, calls him Leatherpants Vampire and refuses to refer to him by his real name. He kind of burnt some bridges when he left Cincy, and we don't look to kindly on him, even if he did give us a division title in 1995 (and 1994, if a title existed).
You know who would be a good GM for the current Nats team? Dan O'Brien, who was the Reds GM prior to Wayne Krivsky. The guy stinks at putting together a Major League team, but he sure can draft them. Homer Bailey, Joey Votto, and Jay Bruce are all Cincy prospects primed for stardom and were all his choices. Since the Lerners don't seem to be committed to fielding a Major League baseball team this year, the Nats could use a good draft guy.
wasn't Art Vandelay an importer/exporter at one point? there has always been something Costanza-like about Trader Jim.
How about:
Jim "definitely not John Schuerholz " Bowden.
Jim Bow-down.
Prime Minister of Lernastenstan
The Stepford GM
Jimmy-boy, The Jimster, Jimmy Crack Corn and I don't care
BallWonk's nomination is "The Bowdude." Because since Chief Kasten showed up, Trader Jim just abides. That and the disheveled, what-me-care, surfer-boy image he works so hard to project.