A Nationals Thanksgiving

"Gary, I am getting hungry. I thought you said we would eat a real American Thanksgiving turkey, si?"

"Livo, this is a real American Thanksgiving. Here in Texas, we eat what we shoot."

"But I am muy frio y hambriento. We have been in this poco hut for hours, pero nada—"

"Shhh! Here come some turkeys. Let's let them come a little closer."

"..."

"Tex, do all turkeys look so strange in America?"

"Those are some ugly looking birds. Hand me the binoculars."

"..."

"Livo, you take a look. I'll be darned if that one doesn't look like Bud Selig."

"Si, Gary. And el segundo pavo, it looks to me like Jerry Reinsdorf."

"Well, that poses a real challenge. My daddy taught me to shoot only what I can eat, and we only need one bird. Which one should we eat?"

"¡Mirada! Gary, here comes a third pavito."

"Well I'll be damned, Livo, if you'll excuse my French. That little bugger looks real familiar too."

"Si, Gary. El pequeño pavo nuevo bears a resemblance to Jeffrey Loria, verdad."

"Hand me those binocs. Well, shoot, you're right. Our team's old owner. What an ugly bunch of birds. Maybe we ought to order in some mooshoo pork for turkey day this year."

"You promised turkey, Gary."

"I know. Well, they're wandering into range. Gotta pick one to shoot."

"How about the pavo that looks like señor Selig? He is the pajiera who sent us to Puerto Rico and won't give us an owner to make all the muy importante decisions we need to compete in 2006."

"Sure, but isn't Jerry Reinsdorf the guy who's holding up the stadium talks so that Bud can't choose a new owner? Maybe it would be better to shoot the turkey that looks like Reinsdorf."

"Por otra parte, Gary, Jeffrey Loria is again messing with baseball fans. You maybe do not remember what it was like under him in Montreal. Y ahora he is doing the same things to my neighbors in Florida. He is disposing of all the good players and threatening to move to another ciudad. ¡Un burro sabe mas que usted sobre el funcionamiento de un equipo de beisbol, señor Loria!"

"Crap, I think they heard you. Quick, Livo, take a shot before they get away!"

BAM

"¡Falte!"

"Quick, gimme the gun."

BAM

"Your aim is buena, Gary. Now can we eat? I am so hungry."

"First I've gotta show you how dress the bird. Then we gotta take the guts out through the neck hole. I'm gonna enjoy plucking this ugly turkey."

"Why? Which one did you shoot?"

"Does it matter?"