Happy Reporting Day!

Let's declare this a holiday. A Nationals holiday. For today, February 15, 2005, the Washington Nationals are in business for real. Previously, the biggest thing to happen on Feb. 15 was the sinking of USS Maine. And I think we can all agree that the return of baseball to Washington has the edge over the Spanish-American War.

So happy Reporting Day, Nationals fans! The Post and the Times both have special holiday coverage. Caps with the pretzel-W, logos, and Nationals red, gold, and blue are popping up everywhere. It's like St. Patrick's Day for baseball. Except without so much Guinness.

But what do you suppose the pitchers and catchers actually report on? Is this like a quorum vote, where they just drop by to vote present, or do they have to give reports about what they did on vacation? Will Officer Schneider give a book report on the Handbook of Loss Prevention and Crime Prevention? Will Esteban Loaiza had out copies of The Power of Failure: 27 Ways to Turn Life's Setbacks into Success?

Chad Cordero can report just how disappointed he was that the movie Closer wasn't about what he thought it was about.

Perhaps manager Frank "F-Rob" Robinson will kick things off by regaling his players with tales of how he used to hit the stuffing out of the ball in Washington. Or how he followed Teddy up San Juan Hill after the sinking of the Maine. On second thought, maybe it's best not to say the words San Juan in the Nationals clubhouse, even if the battle was in Cuba.

However Reporting Day progresses in Florida, the real celebrations will be observed here in Washington. It's another two weeks before the umpire will shout, "Play Ball!" at the first Nationals game, but for now we'll settle for the distant sounds of bats cracking, gloves thunking, and the pitter-patter of cleated feet.

Is this the best Feb. 15 ever, or what?